Just like everyone else on this planet, I get through each day just rolling with the punches, taking things stride by stride.
My hubby gets up before I do, always making the coffee and taking our fur baby out for a morning walk. He lets me sleep in because he knows I LOVE sleep, and when I finally wake, I unwillingly roll out of bed. I shower, put my makeup on while letting my coffee cool, have a quick bite to eat (usually toaster waffles or Lucky Charms because I’m an adult and I can eat whatever I damn well please!).
Before I leave for work, I refill my coffee cup, kiss the fur babe good-bye and make a wish that I didn’t have to leave and I could spend my days on the porch with her.
I get to work, check my emails and voicemails, and then dive into my day. By 10:30, all I can think about is lunch time because I very rarely remember to bring snacks – and baby girl gets hungry, let me tell you that!
So, lunch rolls around and I almost always meet my mom at her house for whatever she decides to whip up! It’s a temporary relief from my uncomfortable desk chair that always comes to a miserable end. I finish off my last 4 hours trying to escape the noise of a crowded room of cubicles, while still somehow managing to not seem too removed in fear of being seen as rude or quiet or god forbid have an attitude.
You see, its not that I hate my job, I actually love the job that I do. It’s just that, I know there is more to my life than just work. I do not live for my work, I work so that I can pay my bills. Isn’t that what 99% of the world does?
That other 1%…that is what I want to be a part of. The 1% of people who have created themselves a way of living that is on their own terms. A creative life that has no boundaries, no expectations from other people, NO GOD DAMN RULES! They make their decisions, they make the calls, they built their work, they LOVE their work.
I’m inspired everyday, and I want nothing more than to express all of my passions! I want to paint, I want to write, I want to photograph, I want to art so hard that I can’t art anymore! I want to reach out into the world and have the it take me by the hands, I want to be enveloped in the wind, I want to be swallowed by the sea, I want the smell of the forest to be exhaled through my skin, and most of all, I want the world to feel this way too!
This is what I spend my week waiting for. Sunday morning is when I get the chance to just be. I sit on the porch with my husband, Kyle and my dog, Grace, over-looking the bean field and feeling the wind graze my face. Sunday morning is when I actually get to relax with my husband and we get to drink our coffee together without having to rush getting ready for work. We talk about life, which is so easy to forget to do when you lead a busy lifestyle. We get so used to the “How was your day?”, and the typical “Good, and yours?”. Life is much more intricate than just “good”. People seem to mask their true feelings with the socially accepted answers, but in doing so, you really end up losing yourself.
You become sort of a robot, always telling people what you think they want to hear because god forbid you are actually having a bad day and give someone attitude, leading your work mates to take it the wrong way or your friend to start talking behind your back.
The thing is, if another human being can’t handle someone else having a bad day and they see it as a weakness or deem you unfit for a job, well they can shove it up their you-know-what, because in the world that I live in, THE REAL WORLD, people have bad days man! People. Have. Bad. Days. We are ALLOWED to have bad days. We are ALLOWED to feel down. Because no one can tell you that your feelings are wrong.
So, now you’ve made a pact to yourself to no longer be the socially accepted robot. You’ve decided to go out on your own and be truthful about your bad day-what happens now?
You take your miserable ass out into the back yard, to the beach, to the trail, ANYWHERE, and you sit your ass on the ground and you take in those smells, you feel that breeze, you listen to the birds and by fucking golly you start to feel just a little bit better! You realize that, holy shit, this world is a little bit bigger than my bad day.
This. This right here. The water, the trees, the wind… it’s all a gift. And it’s here. For me. It feels good. It feels good to know, that your problems, your bad day isn’t the root of the world and by this moment you know the problems will go away and your bad day will come to an end.
Tomorrow is a new day and things start fresh.